It feels like time is going really fast, and that bub will be here in the very near future – but the reality is that there's still 8 weeks to go. It feels like a lot of time, and not much time, all at once!
This week has been a little bit up and down, which you'll be able to see below (yes, I had a bit of a rant!). But overall, as of today, Ben and I are feeling really excited and confident about all that's to come.
How far along?
32 weeks.
Symptoms
During the night, I'm pretty sure I must be sleepwalking; heading out of our apartment, finding the nearest horse track, and riding a horse all night. Because that's how I feel most days. I chatted to the midwife about this, and she said that some women do feel this way as birth comes closer... my pelvis is beginning to stretch and move more, and bub's wee head is right down amongst it all, adding strain to all those pre-strained ligaments. Joy! So I'm trying to sit with my pelvis even (no crossing legs), and trying not to waddle too much when I walk. ;)
Maternity clothes
I don't know why I even really have this section, as I'm not the kind of person to go out and purchase something every week. But the limited wardrobe I have is working really well! For a while I was looking forward to getting back into my pre-preg clothing and having more choice in the morning, but then I remembered how I'll need to be breast-feeding conscious in my clothing decisions. So there are quite a few things that I might not wear for a long time!
Stretch marks
None.
Sleep
Horse-riding pains (haha) are my only qualm. Sleep has been good, despite the heat!
Best moment this week
My buddy Rhi has been in Sydney for a teacher's conference, so she's been staying with us for a few nights. It's been fun exploring with her! Also, chatting to my sister-in-law Caroline yesterday (and briefly to my bro, too) was great; they're the best. They really spoiled Ben and I after they got back from their USA trip – pretty much a quarter of our baby clothes were supplied by them! I've been starting to wash all the little bodysuits, muslins, socks etc this week. They look so cute all hanging up to dry.
Worst moment this week
I had a little melt-down on Sunday – it was just a super emotional day, and I think I was a bit tired from all the walking around I had done with Rhi on the days prior. It all started when Ben and I thought to go and grab some more gear that day (Rhi was at another friend's house). I've never had a baby before (obviously), so I've been relying on newborn guides I've found on the internet to gauge how much stuff I need. Now here's the thing – every guide is different, and I'm trying to keep things minimal and assess my own needs (without any experience in the field), and I'm trying to think about how hot it will be in Sydney when baby is a newborn, 3 months, etc as this affects the kinds of things we buy, and I'm trying to keep costs low. This all adds up to a lot of research and thinking. I got a fright when our hospital list said to bring 7 onesies, 5 muslin blankets etc. when we come to give birth. It seemed like so much stuff to bring and I felt really underprepared. Basically, you have to make your own call on a lot of things, and it's pretty hard work making these decisions. Yes, I know that baby won't starve, or freeze, or have any hardship of that kind with us – but suddenly your mama instincts kick in, combined with a bit of overthinking, and you want to think hard about these things because you care about doing the best for you and your baby.
But that's not the worst part. Seriously – you think something like buying nipple cream would just be a matter of rocking up to the shop and buying some. However, when you get there, you see two kinds – one that says '100% Pure Lanolin!' (sounds good right? This stuff must be good!) and then another one that says '100% Lanolin Free!' (which makes you think, what is this lanolin stuff? Why would I want to keep away from it? It seems nasty!). Sooo on to google you go, and you read articles about why people love and hate lanolin, so now buying a 50ml tube of nipple cream has just cost you 30 minutes, and your brain is now fried. Now repeat this exercise for every single thing you buy. Just popping to the shop to buy some more muslin blankets? Well, just warning you, there's also going to be fleece blankets, interlock blankets, swaddlers and sleeping bags all hanging up beside them, and all in a multitude of sizes... which will make you think 'hmm, according to google, perhaps I should get some interlock blankets for the cooler nights and a tighter wrap... but fleece is even warmer... but do I even need fleece in Sydney? Couldn't I just double up a muslin and an interlock? Better google that too...' Brain. Fried.
Basically, after a few weeks of this process, and then a solid day doing it while out with Ben, I ended up in tears because I don't really know what I'm doing! And for the first time (of many I'm sure) I really felt so far away from experienced help with baby stuff. Yes, I do have people in Sydney who I can ask for help from, but everyone has their own opinion that you still need to weed through. Sometimes you just want to hear your mum say "I did this" so you can jump on autopilot and say "OK, I'm just going to do that, too". Ben has been so good with it all, though. After I pulled myself back together, he reminded me of how awesome it is to be able to buy things for our baby, holy heck! Which is pretty exciting. And he said that I can just leave Skype on all day, and chat to mum or whoever if I need to, which is true. The other thing I need to remember is that after bub comes, the shops don't suddenly close and leave you stuck with what you've got. You can run out (or send someone out) to grab things if you find you need them. What a rant! So yes, it's been a bit tough, and my brain is a little zonked, but all in all we are pretty stoked with what's happening at the moment, help isn't far away, and we'll be alright. :)
Movement
Wiggly baby is still on their preferred side (curled around my left). Sometime bub stretches their legs out and I feel their booty protruding on one side, and their feet coming out the other. I like to pat their little booty when it does this, hehe.
Food cravings
Drinking lots of milk again. Also been eating lots of nuts and avocado – good for both my brain and baby's!
Anything making you feel sick or queasy?
I had an off day yesterday, which was inopportune as we had our second childbirth class last night. I had to sit on the carpet as our facilitator, Kel, talked about placentas and tearing and all of that lovely stuff... and it wasn't because I was grossed out, I was just feeling off in general!
Gender
No clue!
Belly button in or out?
Still hanging in there.
Happy or moody?
It's been an up and down week, that's for sure!
Looking forward to...
Reading and a cup of tea in bed tonight. Bliss.
This week's tune:
It's been stuck in my head since forever, and my sister Tessa gave me the CD for Christmas, so here's Ellie Goulding's Love Me Like You Do.
And here's a snap of Rhi and I at Bondi on Saturday. We stopped there for lunch – I even had a non-alcoholic beer!
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